Day 170: Sell something you have made.

My mother has been pestering encouraging me for years to write a novel, something in a genre that sells: romance, mystery, paranormal romance, mystery romance, paranormal mystery romance. I’ve mostly ignored her, because I don’t have much free time in which to write a novel, and the free time I do have I prefer to spend drinking and sitting around, instead of doing something productive.

A few days ago, she sent me a link to an NYT article about Amanda Hocking, who has self-published ten novels (and counting) as e-books on sites like Amazon, and who has made enough money at it that she can buy a replica of Han Solo in carbonite on a whim.

It’s just a coincidence, of course, but I’m going to run with it. I don’t have anything I’ve made for sale today, but I’m going to pledge to have a novel available for sale by the end of the year. Because why the fuck not?

Way the hell back on day six, I wrote this, as the opening sentence of my début novel:

One morning, Eusebius Jones woke up, brushed his teeth, had a piss, wandered into the kitchen, ate breakfast – two grapefruit and three cups of strong coffee – and then sat at his kitchen table, staring at nothing, trying to decide what he was going to do with the bodies in the trunk of his car.

That’s the opening sentence I’m going to run with. Who is this dude? Why does he have bodies — plural bodies! — in the trunk of his car? What is he going to do with them? What does he have for breakfast when grapefruit is not in season?

I have no idea. I hope the answers are interesting, and I hope I can get a novel out of answering them, either way, and I hope I sell enough copies that I can buy this with the proceeds (one of these would be nice, also).

I am totally serious about this, and I expect all of you who read this to shame me eternally if I don’t have a self-published paranormal-murder-mystery-bodice-ripping-trash-noir novel actually available for purchase by the end of the year.

I won’t, and I won’t be able to handle the shame, so I’ll drink myself to death in 2012. Should be a good year.

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3 Comments on “Day 170: Sell something you have made.”

  1. Becky Clary says:

    I strongly encourage you to pursue this novel writing business! You have an amazing talent for writing, and I think you could sell a book or two. Your sense of humor is quirky, and your writing is interesting and often funny. If you are interested in writing a book, I say go for it!

    The story line could be based on your opening sentence, and the lead character could be somewhat like yourself, but with a dark (very dark) side as well. This could turn out to be a series of books, in the genre of Grisham, except the main character is a professor at a southern-based university. Which means the main character has to have redeeming qualities, like you do, but also has unresolved issues. I suspect there is an enormous wealth of material about the underbelly of the academic profession.

    Ok, I will help ghost-write the darn book if needed, or I can be your unpaid assistant. Whatever. Go for it!

    Good luck,
    Becky

  2. Becky says:

    I’ll continue pestering /encouraging you to write this!

  3. Becky Clary says:

    LOL, Becky, I saw your reply in my inbox, and thought – did I write another comment in my sleep? Just realized it wasn’t me, it was the #1 Becky, his mom. Hope all are well! Your son is hysterically funny! I enjoy his posts every day.

    Becky formerly Reaves now Clary


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