Day 133: Invent a new color.

This doesn’t seem possible.

I mean, the visible spectrum is only so wide, right? 495 nm to 570 nm, that’s green. Maybe there’s a lot of greens in there – Zeno would say there’s an infinite amount of greens between 495 nm and 496 nm, because you just keep going half the distance, and you never get there – maybe so, maybe not —— but the point is that the human eye and the human brain are only going to be able to distinguish a finite number of those greens, even if it is still a large number.

This isn’t what the Book means, though: it wants me to come up with a new … pigment, I guess? The example it gives – the exemplar we’re to follow – is Yves Klein, who somehow concocted International Klein Blue back in the 1950s.

It’s a pretty striking shade of blue: I imagine the full-canvas studies of it are unsettling to view in person.

There’s no way I can come up with a new pigment. This fancy-ass blue was just the beginning for dear Yves, though: he experimented with ‘new methods of application’, and the awesomest of these was naked women.

Seriously. While a small orchestra played his 1949 Monotone Symphony – twenty minutes of one note followed by twenty minutes of silence, I shit you not – a group of women covered themselves in his patented paint and rolled around on stuff. That’s fucking ART, people.

Rather than trying to follow Klein in coming up with a new color, I’m going to follow him in making art that involves people willingly doing ridiculous things. Obviously nudity is important, but I think the symphony is just as important, and just as ridiculous: one note for twenty minutes is like typing the same letter over and over for a whole novella.

Of course, this isn’t the kind of thing I can throw together in a day – somebody else, maybe, but not me. This is a long con, and it has to be appropriately over the top. My tentative plan is to get a group of volunteers to strip naked, paint themselves blue, and twist themselves into Klein bottles.

I’ll let you know how it goes.


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