Day 118: Snooper alert!

“I know you are snooping in my Book, you have had guilt written all over your stupid face for the last few weeks, this is what I think of you if you really must know…”

What do I do with this? I know you’ve been reading my blog – that’s the fucking point. Why would I post things here I wanted nobody to read? I’m not Amir. Or Amy Poehler.

So, let’s get this over with. You’re all awesome, except those of you who aren’t. Your hair looked good today, some of you, but there are a few of you who shouldn’t leave the house without a hat on. Also, why are you wearing those shoes? They make your feet look uglier than they already are. A few of you ate a healthy lunch – good job you – but most of you are getting a look of disapproval. Conversely, it hurts my feelings when you disapprove of the fact that I put bourbon in my morning coffee; don’t judge me. Lastly: that thing you were thinking about getting for that person for that occasion? Bad idea. Wait, no: worst idea. Beyond tactless.

That’s all I’ve got, in that I have nothing left to say to any of you. Come back tomorrow, when I’ll be a stuffed bear missing its ears.

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