Day 117: Me day.Posted: April 27, 2011
I’m not really sure anymore what a day that was all about me would look like.
Let’s see: this morning was all about me having a conference with one last student. This morning was also all about me preparing for my Wednesday-afternoon seminar. The afternoon was all about me going to that seminar. The late afternoon – 4:30 to 6:00 – was all about me going out for a few beers with some of my colleagues. Then there was some time that was about me commuting home.
Once I got home, well, the real fun started: it was all about me finally finishing the installation of our new hot water heater. I had to re-solder the one connection that had to be soldered – and, amazingly, it took. No big deal. I came, I saw, I kicked its ass.
Of course, I thought it had taken the first time. It had waited to start leaking, the sneaky little bastard. So I watched it: ten, twelve minutes. No leaking. Success! I proceeded to attach the vent, to connect the gas line, to light the pilot light. I allowed myself to think that I would be able to take a hot shower before bed.
That was a mistake. Not just a normal mistake: it was the sort of fatal mistake that Greek tragedies are built on. One of the hoses – the one that connects the cold-water feeder line to the heater – spontaneously disconnected itself from the short brass pipe it was attached to, gushing water everywhere. I said lots of bad words, but on the inside, because my wife was listening, and the things I wanted to say were worse than the things she’s used to me saying.
I dried things off. I cleaned the connections, and reattached the hose and the pipe. I cautiously turned the water back on – slowly at first – and I kept my hand on the knob of the shut-off valve for a moment, watching the offending connection. It behaved, for about thirty seconds: as soon as I removed my hand from the knob, the hose removed itself from the pipe.
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
By that time, the big-box home-improvement store that I bought all this shit from had closed. I’m going back in the morning, pipe and hose in hand, to get new ones. Then I’ll come home, install them, turn the water on, and watch as some other part of the system gives me the finger totally loses its shit all over everything.
So yeah. Today was about me, but it was about me failing. Not exactly what I had planned when I got up this morning.