Day 107: Globalization day.

The Book wants me to celebrate globalization by meeting people in “internet chat rooms,” which seems like a very 2003 way of putting it. I guess the point, though, is to interact with people from “all over the world” – those parts with internet access, that is – using the magic of technology.

So I did. I logged on to Omegle – the chances of encountering a penis or penises on Chatroulette are higher than I’m comfortable with – and talked to random strangers. Mostly about hedgehogs. It went … well, you can see for yourself how it went, because I’ve included screenshots of my ten attempts to connect with a random stranger on the subject of hedgehogs. (There was actually an eleventh conversation, somewhere in the middle, but I somehow mis-typed and closed the tab, cutting short a promising conversation about old-school video games and women, and preventing myself from getting a screenshot.)

What else was I supposed to say? “Oh, right, I totally forgot about Google!” No.

This one was promising, except the dude (which is a gender-neutral noun) disconnected right after replying.

Not what he was looking for, I guess.

In retrospect— well, no, I think you can figure this one out on your own.

The “correct” answer is, of course, “…gonna give you up,” but I wanted to talk about hedgehogs, not ’80s pop music.

I have no idea what “SWAG” means; the only definition at urban dictionary that makes sense is “Sista with a gun” – but I don’t know why such sistas wouldn’t want to talk about hedgehogs. They’re probably great for target practice, like womp rats.

This was my favorite one.

I guess the “I’m talking about a cute animal except I’m really talking about eating them” thing is a bit obvious, but I had to do it at least once. It’s a rule.

A disappointing end to my experience / experiment. “idk anything about hedgehogs.” Well, dude, maybe I just wanted someone to talk to me, you know, to really listen and communicate, and it could’ve been about anything, hedgehogs were just the first thing that came to mind – because I can’t just type “i just want someone to talk to me,” even though that’s all I want, because… well…

Yeah, not really. I just wanted to fuck with people. Mission accomplished, I think.


2 Comments on “Day 107: Globalization day.”

  1. Becky Clary says:

    Hysterical. I think random Internet chat should be a regular feature of your blog! Loved it! You are the funniest professor I’ve ever read. Keep em coming!

  2. […] “the best” because these things already exist, and we’ve been down this road before. It’s a fun road, so I did it […]

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