Another conversation about hedgehogs.

So, I finally had a decent – sort of – conversation with a stranger. About hedgehogs, and other things. Enjoy:

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: hedgehog.

Stranger: Swag.

You: what?

Stranger: Idk hi

Stranger: I want a dog

You: hedgehogs are better than dogs.

You: smaller, pointier, what have you.

Stranger: Like… Sonic ?

Stranger: Blue?

You: no, not him.

Stranger: But but but

You: brown. brown-ish.

Stranger: Hes sexi.

You: i don’t see it.

Stranger: Don’t crush my dreams stranger D:

You: it’s my job.

You: all i do is crush dreams. professionally.

Stranger: Well your dong a wonderful job

You: thanks. always a pleasure.

Stranger: I should tell ur boss to give u a raise

Stranger: While I sit here whimpering

Stranger: nd bawling

Stranger: Because my dreams have been crushed

You: I work pro bono. no money changes hands.

You: i crush dreams for the thrill, not the paycheck.

Stranger: Wow that sounds wonderful

Stranger: I hope that helps u sleep at nite

You: anyway. hedgehogs.

You: what can you tell me about them?

Stranger: Are sexi.

You: like gerbils?

Stranger: Indeed.

You: what, exactly, do you find sexy about small rodents?

Stranger: Everything

Stranger: From the gentle curve of their perky ears

Stranger: To the soft inner flesh of their tummies

You: go on…

Stranger: And the fluffy way they cuddle

You: Well, then.

You: I’m not sure how to respond to that.

Stranger: Lol. I joke.

You: prehensile tails do anything for you?

Stranger: Im deadly afraid of rodents

You: I see. Like Indiana Jones’s father. the rats, the sewer, the holy grail. all that.

You: “Why’d it have to be rats?”

Stranger: Uh sure

Stranger: Let’s go with that

Stranger: Anyway

You: Please tell me you’ve seen “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.”

You: Lie to me if necessary.

Stranger: U know what’s ACTUALLY sexi?

Stranger: ShIrtless. Korean. Guys.

You: What about shirtless japanese dudes?

Stranger: Jabdjsnhcisnhdkhfudn.

Stranger: Korean. Not japanese

You: Just Koreans. Interesting.

Stranger: Indeed

Stranger: So mr/ms stranger

Stranger: WhT do YOU find sexi?

You: yes.

Stranger: Please don’t mention any outrageous fetishes

You: absolutely nothing. I’m a monk. Taken a vow of chastity.

Stranger: Lie to me if necessary

You: I do like hedgehogs, though.

You: and I do nothing BUT lie.

Stranger: Monke,eh?

You: professionally.

Stranger: Ur life must suck.

Stranger: So ur a dude? If ur a monk?

You: that’s one of the things we’re not allowed to do.

You: sucking, I mean.

Stranger: Ladies just don’t give u the time of day do they?

Stranger: Lol

Stranger: Hahahah ur funny :P

You: If they have watches, they do. Nobody wears watches anymore, though.

Stranger: Hey guess what monkey

Stranger: I bet ur a virgin.

You: how did we get here from hedgehogs? and we were having such a good time.

Stranger: Ahhhh

Stranger: AvoidIng the toPic

Stranger: Typical ‘never been laid’ behaviour

You: should I make a joke about fucking your mom? is that the next thing we do?

Stranger: Nahhh I’m good

Stranger: Besides

Stranger: Only IM allowed to fuck my mom

You: …your mom is dead?

Stranger: K?

Stranger: Lol I joke

You: well, then, i guess we’ve run out of steam.

You: all I wanted was to talk about hedgehogs.

Stranger: No u did

You: HEDGE

Stranger: Im full of stea

You: HOGS

Stranger: *steam

Stranger: Korean

Stranger: Shirtless

Stranger: Men

You: big breasted south-east asian chicks.

You: with long hair.

You: and beards.

Stranger: Hmmm.

Stranger: Oh gAwd

Stranger: Just thinking bout that

You: it’s hot.

Stranger: Is making me wet

Stranger: Lol I lid

Stranger: *kid

You: what, you don’t like beards? hairless dudes are your thing?

Stranger: Nono

Stranger: Hair is good

Stranger: I just favor the whole

Stranger: ‘clean shaven’ look

You: so, just pubic hair, then? pits? legs? ears?

You: toes?

Stranger: Idk…

Stranger: Oh DEFINETLY toes

You: shirtless korean hobbits. got it.

Stranger: That’s so ATTRACTIVE.

You: this is the longest conversation about hedgehogs I’ve had today.

Stranger: Well I need to go masturbate from all this sexual tension

Stranger: Bye stranger

You: think about hedgehogs, will you?

You: thanks.

You: it means a lot to me.

Stranger: Lol totallu

You: pointy like guys.

You: *little

Stranger: Hey

You: hey.

Stranger: I like hedgehogs

You: good.

Stranger: Cus they’re cute. Okay?

Stranger: There

Stranger: A complete sentence

Stranger: Without a sexual innuendo

You: there are four lights.

You: there is sexual innuendo EVERYWHERE.

You: all the time.

You: you just have to look hard for it.

Stranger: Lol only If ur dirty enuff to find them(;

You: it’s all about sex. trust me.

You: I’m a professional.

Stranger: Pshh

Stranger: What would a MONKEY know about sex?

Stranger: A VIRGIN

You: go to wikipedia. look up bonobos. get back to me.

Stranger: Lol okay I will

You: bonobos and hedgehogs. the animal world is full of fucking.

You: whales.

You: ants.

You: pigs.

You: bears.

You: tomatoes.

You: tomatoes are plants, I know, but you get the picture.

You: fucking. lots of it.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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