Another conversation about hedgehogs.Posted: April 17, 2011
So, I finally had a decent – sort of – conversation with a stranger. About hedgehogs, and other things. Enjoy:
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Idk hi
Stranger: I want a dog
You: hedgehogs are better than dogs.
You: smaller, pointier, what have you.
Stranger: Like… Sonic ?
You: no, not him.
Stranger: But but but
You: brown. brown-ish.
Stranger: Hes sexi.
You: i don’t see it.
Stranger: Don’t crush my dreams stranger D:
You: it’s my job.
You: all i do is crush dreams. professionally.
Stranger: Well your dong a wonderful job
You: thanks. always a pleasure.
Stranger: I should tell ur boss to give u a raise
Stranger: While I sit here whimpering
Stranger: nd bawling
Stranger: Because my dreams have been crushed
You: I work pro bono. no money changes hands.
You: i crush dreams for the thrill, not the paycheck.
Stranger: Wow that sounds wonderful
Stranger: I hope that helps u sleep at nite
You: anyway. hedgehogs.
You: what can you tell me about them?
Stranger: Are sexi.
You: like gerbils?
You: what, exactly, do you find sexy about small rodents?
Stranger: From the gentle curve of their perky ears
Stranger: To the soft inner flesh of their tummies
You: go on…
Stranger: And the fluffy way they cuddle
You: Well, then.
You: I’m not sure how to respond to that.
Stranger: Lol. I joke.
You: prehensile tails do anything for you?
Stranger: Im deadly afraid of rodents
You: I see. Like Indiana Jones’s father. the rats, the sewer, the holy grail. all that.
You: “Why’d it have to be rats?”
Stranger: Uh sure
Stranger: Let’s go with that
You: Please tell me you’ve seen “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.”
You: Lie to me if necessary.
Stranger: U know what’s ACTUALLY sexi?
Stranger: ShIrtless. Korean. Guys.
You: What about shirtless japanese dudes?
Stranger: Korean. Not japanese
You: Just Koreans. Interesting.
Stranger: So mr/ms stranger
Stranger: WhT do YOU find sexi?
Stranger: Please don’t mention any outrageous fetishes
You: absolutely nothing. I’m a monk. Taken a vow of chastity.
Stranger: Lie to me if necessary
You: I do like hedgehogs, though.
You: and I do nothing BUT lie.
Stranger: Ur life must suck.
Stranger: So ur a dude? If ur a monk?
You: that’s one of the things we’re not allowed to do.
You: sucking, I mean.
Stranger: Ladies just don’t give u the time of day do they?
Stranger: Hahahah ur funny :P
You: If they have watches, they do. Nobody wears watches anymore, though.
Stranger: Hey guess what monkey
Stranger: I bet ur a virgin.
You: how did we get here from hedgehogs? and we were having such a good time.
Stranger: AvoidIng the toPic
Stranger: Typical ‘never been laid’ behaviour
You: should I make a joke about fucking your mom? is that the next thing we do?
Stranger: Nahhh I’m good
Stranger: Only IM allowed to fuck my mom
You: …your mom is dead?
Stranger: Lol I joke
You: well, then, i guess we’ve run out of steam.
You: all I wanted was to talk about hedgehogs.
Stranger: No u did
Stranger: Im full of stea
You: big breasted south-east asian chicks.
You: with long hair.
You: and beards.
Stranger: Oh gAwd
Stranger: Just thinking bout that
You: it’s hot.
Stranger: Is making me wet
Stranger: Lol I lid
You: what, you don’t like beards? hairless dudes are your thing?
Stranger: Hair is good
Stranger: I just favor the whole
Stranger: ‘clean shaven’ look
You: so, just pubic hair, then? pits? legs? ears?
Stranger: Oh DEFINETLY toes
You: shirtless korean hobbits. got it.
Stranger: That’s so ATTRACTIVE.
You: this is the longest conversation about hedgehogs I’ve had today.
Stranger: Well I need to go masturbate from all this sexual tension
Stranger: Bye stranger
You: think about hedgehogs, will you?
You: it means a lot to me.
Stranger: Lol totallu
You: pointy like guys.
Stranger: I like hedgehogs
Stranger: Cus they’re cute. Okay?
Stranger: A complete sentence
Stranger: Without a sexual innuendo
You: there are four lights.
You: there is sexual innuendo EVERYWHERE.
You: all the time.
You: you just have to look hard for it.
Stranger: Lol only If ur dirty enuff to find them(;
You: it’s all about sex. trust me.
You: I’m a professional.
Stranger: What would a MONKEY know about sex?
Stranger: A VIRGIN
You: go to wikipedia. look up bonobos. get back to me.
Stranger: Lol okay I will
You: bonobos and hedgehogs. the animal world is full of fucking.
You: tomatoes are plants, I know, but you get the picture.
You: fucking. lots of it.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.