Day 104: Various relatives day.Posted: April 14, 2011
The Book’s idea with this task is to combine all the greeting-card-company-created relative-commemorating “holidays” into one, so that we can send out a spate of shallow, meaningless cards at once, rather than spreading the banality out over the course of the year.
I’m all for it – it’s one step closer to abolishing these ridiculous relative-based holidays altogether.
I did today what I do every Mother’s / Father’s / Grandparent’s / Whatever’s Day – absolutely nothing. I sent no cards, I bought no flowers, I made no calls, I gave no shits. I wasn’t any nicer than I usually am; I was maybe even a bit more of an asshole than I am on an average day, but it’s hard to tell.
One of the things that’s really frustrating about Defoe’s novel Roxana – and there are many frustrating things about it, not the least of which is Defoe’s blindingly awful prose style – is how casually she divests herself of her children to go off and be a kept woman (and she doesn’t keep any of the kids that result from that career choice, either) – and how normal all the characters seem to think this is. Sure, people in the early 1700s didn’t give two shits about their kids, so maybe it was normal. My point is: did Roxana deserve Mother’s Day cards? No. But I’d be willing to bet her kids would be made to feel guilty for not getting her a card and maybe buying some flowers, if they were alive today, and real people instead of fictional ones.
You know what I’m getting my mother for Mother’s Day? Not a damn thing. But I am getting up much earlier than I like to get up to drive her to the airport tomorrow morning. Does that count for anything? No, it doesn’t because it’s what kids who live in the same town as their mothers ought to do when those mothers need a ride to the airport. If we need a specially-designated day on which to honor our mothers (or fathers, or grandparents, or whatevers) – well, then, we’re probably going to do a shitty job of it, because we’re probably out of practice from being terrible children/grandchildren/spouses/whatevers the rest of the year.
Allow me to
retort repeat myself: if you celebrate Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, you’re a disgrace to your parents the other 364 days of the year. QED.