Day 54: Count your farts.

Really? That’s it? “Count your farts”? What am I supposed to do with that?

I mean, I don’t count how many times a day I cough, or sneeze, or scratch my head. I don’t measure the volume of urine I produce each time I piss. I don’t weigh myself before and after bowel movements. Why would I count my farts?

I know, I know — because the Book told me to, and I’m doing what the Book tells me to this year. Today that means I count my farts.

Let’s see – what have I eaten in the last 48-ish hours? Yesterday: Cereal for breakfast, fish and pasta for lunch, cigar for an afternoon snack, coffee for dinner, blueberry muffin and scrambled eggs and beer and a gin&tonic for a midnight snack. Today: Blueberry muffin and coffee for breakfast, apple and coffee for lunch, Chipotle burrito-bowl for dinner.

Really, none of that’s particularly gas-inducing — well, except the burrito-bowl — so there hasn’t been much to count. Still got to eleven, though, most of them during Cirque du Soleil’s OVO.

Nothing like watching amazing feats of athleticism and farting up a storm at the same time.


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