Day 47: Tonight, count sheep and cure insomnia.

Insomnia is not a problem I have.

I rarely have trouble falling asleep, and the only troubles I have staying asleep are my kids and my dogs – and they’re (usually) only temporary interruptions. On those rare occasions when I do have trouble falling asleep, though, I don’t ever count sheep – it’s so damned boring, I just can’t stick with it.

I know, I know – the point is to bore oneself to sleep. I still can’t do it. I get distracted, my mind wanders, and the sheep starve or get eaten by wolves, who knows.

For the sake of trying, though, I counted sheep last night. I mean, it was after one in the morning before I went to bed, so it was technically today – or tomorrow from yesterday’s perspective, if you catch my meaning; because, well, it’s always tomorrow somewhere, right? I have trouble with that whole “International Date Line” thing…

—where was I? Oh, yeah, sheep. I attempted to count them last night, though it wasn’t really necessary – it was, after all, somewhat late, and I’d had a long day, and a few beers – but, as I say, I counted them anyway. As usual, I was only a few sheep in before I got distracted.

Shortly before going to bed, I’d finished The Farther Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, which, near the end, includes a scene of sheep-hunting somewhere between western China and eastern Russia (Crusoe is rarely careful about the details) – so I thought about that for a bit, and how strange it seems to me for Crusoe to be traveling on land from China to Arkhangelsk, because I always picture him at sea. Then I thought for a bit about Spenser, because he wrote about sheep, and because I have to re-read the first book of The Faerie Queene for Friday. Then I thought about all the other things I have to do this week, and how little time I have to get everything done in, and I had a few minutes of panic.

Then I said – out loud, in fact – “fuck counting sheep, I’m going to sleep.” Then I felt stupid for rhyming ‘sheep’ and ‘sleep’ in such a fashion, and then it was this morning.


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