Day 45: Romance day.Posted: February 14, 2011
Oh, I see. “It’ll be Valentine’s Day,” Benrik said to themselves, “let’s make today’s task something … romantic!”
I’m not happy about this. That’s a bit of an understatement; my initial reaction was something like: “I can’t fucking believe this stupid fucking bullshit!”
I can be romantic
when I have to be on occasion, but I don’t like being forced into it, especially on a day that’s been coöpted by giant corporations. Who remembers the humble origins of Valentine’s Day? Only medievalists, that’s who, and they don’t count. (Sorry, y’all.)
In defiance of the Book, I refused to do anything romantic today. The Book can go … romance itself, let’s say. Lorna was gone quite a bit through the day, which helped my anti-romance project. Can’t be romantic if she’s not around, right? Right.
I could have ordered flowers; I didn’t. I could have gotten her a present; I didn’t. I could have gotten her a massage, or a pedicure; I didn’t. I could have been nice to her; I wasn’t (or, well, not any nicer than usual, which isn’t that nice – and I did tell her that her ass looked good today). I could have taken her out for a fancy dinner; I didn’t. I could have cooked dinner for her; I di——
Oh, wait, yes I did. But only because she complained about not wanting to cook, and I only made bacon and eggs and chocolate doughnuts (for dinner, yes, don’t give me that look), not something fancy, and I got the bacon a bit too done, and I didn’t have candles on the table or a bottle of champagne ready in the fridge – and I ate without her because she was putting Jack to bed. Not very romantic – no, not at all.
I failed utterly at romance today, the one day of the year everybody is expected to be romantic. But I failed on purpose, dammit, and that makes it okay. My wife still
loves tolerates me, and that’s all I can ask for.