Day 44: Defy superstition.Posted: February 13, 2011
This was difficult for me: my default setting is to just ignore superstition, and I didn’t really know what to do to: I didn’t have a mirror on hand to break; I cross paths with my parents’ black cat all the time; and it’s not a Friday the 13th (although February 13th was a Friday in 2004, the first “year of the Book”).
What’s left? Walking under ladders, spilling salt, opening umbrellas indoors. I was going to spill some salt at lunch, but we were at a restaurant, and I felt bad about making more of a mess than was necessary. I walked under a ladder in my in-laws’ garage – but I’m not sure if it counted, because nobody was working on it at the time. I refuse to open an umbrella indoors – not because it’s “bad luck,” but because it doesn’t fucking rain inside.
The Book had a few other suggestions – letting milk boil over, whistling in the house, putting keys on the table – I didn’t know these were a thing. Seeing as I never boil milk in the first place, and I can’t whistle, and I put my keys on tables pretty frequently, I decided to let them alone. I mean, I’m trying to get unlucky, but I’m not trying that hard, alright?
None of it helped. Or hurt, or whatever. The worst thing that’s happened to me today is when one of the dogs got stuck in the garage for an hour, and that was only bad for me because I spent ten minutes looking for her.
If I want bad luck, it seems, I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands and make it happen. It’s nearly midnight: I’m going to strip down to my boxers and head out on the town with a bottle of bourbon. On foot. Maybe with a stupid hat on, but no shoes. And I think I’ll walk in the direction of the police station downtown.
What’s the worst that can happen?