Day 32 update: Hedgehogs! Bastardy! Death and destruction!Posted: February 2, 2011
Holy balls, you guys.
There’s a scene in The Life and Death of King John (spoiler alert: John still dies) where Arthur, John’s older brother Geoffrey’s son, who also has a claim to the throne, but who doesn’t really want it, but Philip of France still goes to war with John of England to put Arthur on the throne, so that… —— well, anyway, John ordered Hubert to execute Arthur, but Hubert didn’t, and instead allows Arthur to secretly escape. And as Arthur’s making his escape – really, it’s the first part of his escape, because he’s jumping off the wall of the castle – well, he jumps off the wall after beseeching the “good ground” to “be pitiful and hurt me not!”
When has that ever worked, right? He lands on the rocks, tosses off a pithy couplet – “O me! my uncle’s spirit is in these stones; / Heaven take my soul, and England keep my bones!” – and then he dies. Totally awesome, right? I don’t know why nobody reads this play.
Well, anyway, I had a dream about that scene last night – Arthur up on the walls, spouting some nonsense, getting ready to jump – and I really didn’t want to see a dead, mangled body in my dream, but I didn’t know what to do about it (I’m not much of a lucid dreamer, I’m afraid). Before Arthur could jump, though, a hedgehog – yes, that’s right, a fucking HEDGEHOG – appeared out of nowhere and told him what a dumb-ass thing it was to jump from such a height onto such pointy and unfriendly-looking rocks. There was a bit of a scuffle, I think – and then a midget in an aeroplane swooped down, somehow Arthur and the hedgehog leapt aboard, and they all fell off together. I was left (in the dream) staring after them, thinking “what the fuck was that?” to myself.
I was still thinking it when I woke up.