Day 15: Be gay for a day!Posted: January 15, 2011
The Book offers some advice on how to accomplish today’s task, but the script reads a bit like a cross between a formulaic rom-com and a hookup arranged via craigslist’s “casual encounters” section. I decided to take a different approach.
I pretended my wife was a dude, and went about my daily business. (Pretending she was a dude was made much easier by the fact that she spent most of the day hanging out with her cousin, two towns over.)
I slept late. I took a shower. Ella and I went to the grocery store, got a few things for breakfast, came home. I made breakfast – hashbrowns, sausage, scrambled eggs, orange juice (forgot to have a cup of coffee, though). Then I took a nap.
After my nap, I was a bit more productive: hung some curtains, did a little laundry, vacuumed the house, washed some dishes, mopped the kitchen. Finally had a cup of coffee. Ran a few errands: to my parents’ house to feed the cats, to Lowe’s, to Starbucks. Came home, fixed a leak under the kitchen sink. Called my mom, had a little chat.
Then Lorna and Jack came home, and we all went to the grocery store. After that, I sort of lost track of the fact that I was pretending Lorna was a dude – she’s curvier than most guys – and so I didn’t quite make it the whole day being gay. Of course, my “gay day” was pretty much indistinguishable from my “straight days,” except for the fact that my wife was a dude for most of the day.
Of course, if we’d actually been gay, we wouldn’t have been able to get married – but getting divorced this morning (on a Saturday, no less!) and then remarried this evening just seemed too big a hassle, so I also pretended we lived in Iowa.