Day 7: Masturbate at 13.56 to the following fantasy:Posted: January 7, 2011
“MEN: Two blondes. Doing it. Together.”
Most days, this wouldn’t have been a problem, though two in the afternoon isn’t always the most convenient time. Today, however, I spent most of the day in the crawlspace under my house – which is now nice and muddy – trying to fix a broken pipe. Note that I said “trying”: soldering copper plumbing in a clean, dry garage is a lot easier than soldering copper plumbing in a cramped, muddy crawlspace. It doesn’t help that I’ve never done it before, either.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “fixing your pipe” is totally a euphemism for masturbation, right? Like “churning some butter” or “emptying the bilge tank” or “fording the moat” or “opening a bottle of wine” – right?
Sure. Whatever you say. I spent all day “under the house” “in the mud” “fixing some pipe” with a “propane torch” – and man, am I ever sore. I can’t wait to do it again tomorrow.